MIYM #20

Roads end with signs that never make any sense. And green lights only make it harder to leave. So i am stuck in between stop and go. Left with these blank maps telling me to move. But I am so stuck in yesterday’s left that I’ve forgotten how to turn right in today. Fallen victim to misguided promises and melancholy love songs and the radio keeps playing those sad tunes that I used to hum to myself everytime you left. Mr. Right was never your forte anyways, and being in love was far too complicated for us to comprehend, so we pretended to know where we were going when really we were lost from the very beginning. I thought I left footprints so I could follow them back home, but every time I tried to trace them, they led me back to you. I have searched and searched, trying to find the signs. You were a right that went so wrong. This is a street that cannot be travelled alone. All that is left at the end is heartache and loneliness and I am done walking by myself. Words keep me company enough to fill the void your voice can no longer fill.

you left. so I write.

I Be Nine.

Sandpaper Walls.

I wish I could have built walls for you my dear.

You have become the victim of stricken winds

That refuse to understand your beauty.

You are that but a grain of sand

And he has always been your weakness.

You stray from the comfort of

Beaches to be blown away by

Winds that claim they will protect you.

But I watch as he picks you up and blows

You in whichever direction he choses,

And painfully I watch you lose yourself to the

Mouth of an ocean who never took the time

To learn how to pronounce your name.

He was never the image that love has painted,

Instead he is a mirage of what pain has created.

Distancing yourself from reality only to swim

Within his lies.

I wish I could have built walls for you.

Walls tall enough to keep his eyes hidden.

Walls tight enough so that his

Scent could not seep through the cracks.

I wish I could have protected you.

I wish I could have changed the seasons

So that the winds were not so heavy on your fingertips.

Again, he has swept through and taken your strength.

He has poisoned your mind to make you think

That you are the lucky one.

Made you believe that without him

You were just another grain of sand.

Another insignificant piece of land,

So you lost your motive to stand strong.

Dug up your roots and pretended not to hear

Us calling your name -

Or maybe you have forgotten what it sounds like.

It is true - I have been struck by harsh winds many times

And I sadly have the scars to prove it.

But I have built these walls perfectly.

They are made with tiny grains of sand.

Millions upon millions stacked upon one another

Dampened with the tears i've cried for years.

My lovely grains of sand, who have stood beside me

On night's where I thought I would crumble.

Days that I thought would never end.

Hour's that I thought would hold me hostage.

Minutes that took my breath away.

Seconds that I will never get back.

I wish I could have built walls for you.

To keep him out.

To keep us in.

To help you remember your name when he

Misplaced it.

To keep your beauty somewhere safe.

To have shielded you from the

Harsh winds his fists blow.

I wish.

But I know that if I did, he would find another way in.

You would leave trails for him.

And we, the tiny of grains of sand that have always loved you, would be left

Wondering where it was you went.

So again, we will watch from the other side

As you drift away with your wind,

And pray that one day you regain the strength

To build your own walls.

Love, Tianamonique.

Part Deux.

Hearts have never been as undefined as ours.
They have been written within warm bed sheets
Smeared in lace and cotton.
Hung upon curved smiles.
They have been placed in between the spaces
Where we attempted to catch our breath
From nights we couldn't sleep.
And it is within these moments where I take in
Your every exhale, breathing in every part of you
That I have welcomed into my heavens.
No need to doubt this.
I will spread my love across your table.
I will embellish your name on my thighs.
I will curl your scent onto my tongue.
I will wrap your beautiful neck with the tips of my fingers.
And I will lock away every secret you whisper
And let you take me on trips of ecstasy
To oceans unknown.

Because although our envisions were a little dimmed, my ordinary words still sings hymns!

Religiously inclined to your majestic and godly eyes
Calling your name in high pitched sins.
I have not forgotten what it feels like to miss you,
So now that you are here, I refuse to dismiss you.
Let me kiss you, and watch as your scars fade from view.
Let's re-write the rules of love and say that the stars
Told us that we were destined.
And that 11:11 was created by us.
And that poetry resides in your smile.
And that the world rotates only by the command of your voice.
And that gravity merely an excuse to keep us from flying.

I have never been able to sum up your being within these words
For there are no true words that could describe our two hearts.
But I suppose U & I are the perfect way to be perfectly undefined.

Love,
Tianamonique.