Was at it's worst.
The seatbelt sign was blinking
And I was terrified.
Roller coasters never
Really frightened me
And I've always wanted to go sky diving
But doing anything broken hearted
Is dangerous and im famous for
Being reckless
So there I was.
Alone and helpless.
I just wanted to get away.
To break away from the daily routines
My naive heart refused to let me leave behind
Running to find
Myself again.
And the takeoff was always the easiest part.
The liberating feeling of leaving,
Instead of the tragic reality of being left.
The moment of knowing everything is going
To change instead of reminiscing
On things that have remained the same.
But then [like always]
There's that moment.
That one moment where you're sitting in your seat
Staring out of the window,
Passing frosted tip mountains,
Inhaling the heavenlike view,
Where you start to doubt your next move
When you start to question the unknown
And all you want to do is resort back to
Your comfort zone.
And all your thoughts start to shatter into
A million pieces in the palms of your hands
And the heavenlike view begins to turn dark
And the seatbelt light turns on
And you enter panic mode.
This is where I met you.
And I remember you smiling.
Laughing at my agony,
So calm.
So collected.
And it was here when I couldn't tell
What I was more afraid of.
The turbulance of my past,
Or the tranquility of my future.
And I think you knew, but still you questioned.
And I showed you my scars.
Spilling my darkest love tales in the middle
Of a strangers lap.
The same stranger who was strangely
Untangling the mess my heart strings had created
In the meiddle of my chest
Not only did you listen
But you healed [without knowing]
The most ruined part of me.
And not once did you look
At me differently.
Always understood,
And never made excuses.
You made me feel safe.
While my world was falling apart
You kept my sanity sane.
Continued to remind me what it
Was I needed to do,
And made sure I knew.
And with mascara running down my cheeks,
And my red eye's blaring,
You made me feel beautiful.
Without touching.
Without love.
Without sex.
You did it all with just your presence.
And after my panic attack had ceased,
Coasting quietly to the next chapter,
You continued to satisfy my thirst
For love,
And it make me feel uncomfortably still.
And I didn't want you to leave,
Because that would only further prove
My point of being left.
But I knew eventually we would have to land,
And as soon as our feet touched
The solid ground,
We would be changed.
You took my hand,
And I didn't even realize when the
Seatbelt sign went off,
And we were allowed to use electronics,
But there is no technology in the world
That could have predicted this beautiful
Conviction that you had sparked in
The turbulent waters of my heart.
We landed and to my surprise,
We were going in the same direction,
This when you asked me,
If I would like join you
For a cup of coffee.
Love, Tianamonique .
