Drunken Valentines Day Poem .

I want to write something for someone.
And I want it to mean something.
Like.. I want the words to become a disease
That they don't want a cure for.
I want the letters to become an annoyance
That they love to hate.
Or hate to love.
Whatever.
And I want them to inhale it.
Want them to roll it up, take a hit
Then pass it back,
Just so we can be on the same level.
And I want the cups to fill.
Pour love into wine glasses
And drink till the night becomes a blur,
And I want to dance.
In slow motion
To music that does not exist
And I want the last kiss
To be the first one that matters.
And then I want curl into a ball
And let his arms caress the smallness of me.
And I want to look up and find him staring at me
And then I want to pretend like I don't like it
So that he turns away,
Just so I can stare right back.
And I want to sing to him.
Anything he wants.
His personal jukebox.
Hum my heart's secrets.
And then I want him to say he's tired.
So I can grab his hand and lead him to the bed.
And then well..
I want what happens next to happen in the most
Desirable, and unforgettable way.
I want him to reminisce about it later,
And tell his friends that he can't even describe it
Because we wrote it
And nobody else would understand the jiberish
Written within those bed sheets.
And I want to wake him up in the middle of night
With a short kiss on his temple,
And he'll blink his eyes and wrinkle his nose
Like its midday and the sun is shining through the windows
But it'll be just me,
And him and there won't be any love,
Just passion.
And we'll pretend like tomorrow doesn't exist
And just relish in the moment.
And then when we wake up,
He'll kiss me on the cheek.
And i'll smile,
With my eyes still closed
Because waking up from this dream would be
A nightmare.
And I promise to make the moment last as
Long as possible.
Even if it's only for one night.
And I promise not to make it a big deal.
And I promise that tomorrow
When every thing goes back to normal,
And reality sets in,
And the worlds harsh truth's are coming at with
Their broken promises,
And all the memories start to play on the
Screen.
I promise
That I will remember the night as it was.
Perfect.
And that's it.

Love, Tianamonique.

MIYM #25 ?

I guess you can have your ring back now.

It doesn't mean anything anymore.

I've spent the last five years

Staring at the promises you never kept

When you gave it to me

The future was brighter than

The middle diamond

You promised.

But I know now that promises are broken.

And hearts are never healed.

And time doesn't do shit but make it last longer.

So take your ring back.

Let the weight fall on your palms

The ones you used to cup

My face with when we kissed

That ring will not be missed, I swear.

So take it back.

Your love is no longer needed.

Love, Tianamonique

When The Beginning Ends .

Its like..

All I want to do is fall asleep

Like I used to.

When the sound of your breath

Hitting the back of my neck used to

Hum me into the sweetest of dreams

And I just want to wake up

Like I used to.

With the morning sun

Hitting the top of your eyelids

Creating shadows of your eyelashes

Onto my cheeks.

And I want to walk like I used to.

When I proudly strolled next to your

Brilliance

Lucky to even to be in your presence.

I want to sing like I used to.

But somehow you stole my voice.

Or maybe it just disappeared after you left.

Or maybe it's still here, I just haven't realized it yet.

I don't know.

And that scares me.

Afraid of forever being lost in this state of not knowing

Maybe i'm not even lost..

Maybe I just haven't been found.

Its like..

I'm trying to forget everything.

But remembering nothing.

And feeling something that I used to know

But anything numb's me.

So I intoxicate the veins

And poison the brains

And kill the pains.

Because falling out of love is insane.

And I blame

You.

It's like…

I'm holding hands with yesterday

Trying to pretend like it's beautiful.

Closing my eyes and seeing all

The good scene's play and skipping all the

Part's where we slammed doors,

And killed each other's souls

You remember .

The way the lies crept

Underneath carpets

Into the bedsheets

Where we sinned night after night

Serpents with bright red apples

We ate them without shame

I blame you.

For everything.

And sometimes I feel bad about it

But it's like…

My heart breaks everyday.

And I'm running out of pieces to give away.

August Confession.

To be honest; I never needed the sun.
It was you I was running away from.
And throughout this journey,
I've found myself.
And I am no longer afraid of the dark.
For that, I thank you.

Love, Tianamonique.