Saturday, April 25, 2009

The Well That Went Dry.

I had needs yes;
Ignored the obvious
Thinking I would shy away
From the thirst that violenty
Crept up the arch in my back
You chose to overlook
My desperation to be caressed
By your essense.
I must have lost you at the stop sign
When your eyes blinked green
So you left and I stayed
Stranded without any reassurance
That you would return whole.
I knew eventually you would make a sharp turn
To come back; but evidentally you ran
Into complicated detours
That led you astray
To another woman's core
Memories replayed constantly
Your voice was difficult to drone
Prone to dial tones; I found a home
In the arms of lonliness that
You never seemed to notice.
Sank deeper into my new residence;
Wishing you would ask for my address in hopes
Of a familiar visit.
But you would never come for me to comfort me.
You never even looked back to see
That you had comepletely rearranged my entire existense
So the music continued to play; but I was singing in accapella
Our soundtrack, suddently composed of sharps and flats
Continued to spin without a scratch
I carried on without mentioning
How unfamiliar your voice was
And how it was effecting me
How I had forgotten the shape
Of your eyes and how your
Sharp words were slowly disecting me
Neglecting me and my needs
My pleads went overlooked
Booked a thousand broken flights
Back to my unfinished memories
Unable to forget the promises
You injected into me.
These are the truths that I
Was trying to run away from.
Intoxicated my heart till my soul was numb
How does one overcome the gapped bridges
You so poorly built upon my tounge?
I suppose I never considered that
This wasn't going to go as perfectly
As I had sketched.
"I don't really draw anways" is my pathetic excuse
For keeping my heart outstreched.
I can no longer hold this love
It's become to complex; I packed it in a box.
It should be waiting on your doorstep.

Love. Tianamonique

*Some things are written because it feels good to write. And that is all it is meant to be.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Melt In Ya Mouf #9

Time ran out quickly.
I had barely begun to count the seconds
Before the clocked stopped.
The sidewalks curled up
And the moon went blank
Even the wind couldn’t breathe
There will be no more moonlit walks
Around false dreams.

Love. Tianamonique.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Hustle Hustle Real Hard--*

I chose words as my escape.
And I’m sure those with
Melodic tongues can relate.
Sing to penetrate rhythmic minds
Mean demeanor but my words
Sandpaper away the brick walls
I have chosen a softer route
Where hatred has been left
In a pile of dirt on the side of the road
I was beginning to light to many fires
And the burden of the flames were too
Heavy for my weak shoulders
So I have mustered enough courage to
Admit I have been using words as weapons
But I am surrendering them to you now.
Instead I will turn these bullets into roses
Because we all have a past even if you try to dispose it
Scream it!
In paint; in dance; in words; in rhymes;
In photos and stories; there no time to rewind
This is the way we move forward and the way we speak
Moving through rhythms of our heartbeats
My mind is tired and my soul is weak
And I know that these are only words
But they are mine
And I will claim them, and then frame them; my divine.
This scripture is more alive than any heartbeat could ever prove.
There has been heart/ache and misuse
But it was me who had to chose
To give my voice a chance and let the past be my muse
It was the truth inside of me that I wanted to blame
Played hide and go seek with my feelings;
Couldn't find shit when I hid my own name.
With that I'm finding my way; using these words to manifest the struggle

I chose poetry to soften my hustle.

+ Shouts to miss rissa over at cupcakes to soften yo hustle; her concept is dope. And the necklaces are effing adorable! =]

*I think we all got a lil somethin that adds some sweetness to life when it starts to go sour.


Love. Tianamonique.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Family Looovee =]

My best friends. No joke. I'd be uterly lost without my brother and sister.
*That tis all.

Friday, April 17, 2009

My First Love Poem--*

Je vous aime
My love, I adore thee.
Your sunshine blares in clear view
And I am honored to dance in its embrace.
If I was a clever girl, I would find a way
To bottle your smile and drink you
Till I was overflowing with joy
I would paint your reflection upon
The clouds so I could walk [shamelessly] in your shadow
I would place your scent on my eyelashes
So ever time I blinked; pieces of you
Would trickle down to my nose
And I could breathe in you
Darling; how lucky I am to have laid in your presence
To have held your delicateness
To have carried your fragile burdens
Te quierro
I have loved you in languages unknown
I admit that I have been swept from the ground
And into a blank heaven
You wrote the lyrics
Then recited your way back into my thoughts
And maybe I am a fool for following your
Lexis, but I am helpless in your presence
And I have become unusually comfortable with that.
Sometimes it does not seem like
There are enough hours in a day for me to say
That your smile is equivalent to diamonds
And if I had the immense power to permanently
Rearrange the alphabet
I would gladly begin it with F
For the fulfillment you have
Given to my mere existence
I may come off as resistant only because
I am insecure and remain un-convinced that I am worthy
Of your brilliance
You are superior to all forms of beauty, my love.
My adored; how it saddens me that there are no words that
Could faithfully depict my gratitude for
Your company
Vous êtes beau
I love without reserve and I am well aware of the consequences
This state of mind can bring
But those chances are mine to take
Those words are for me to sing
It is my heart to break
And although I could never imagine of finding
The appropriate words to describe my vast adoration for you dear;
It is comforting to know that I could say it in all languages,
And would still mean the same.

--Wasnt sure if I was going to post this; but I Kiesha Cole'd it and changed my mind =]

Love. Tianamonique.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Feelin Real Gray Today.--*

"I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
I may seem alright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin

I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near ."
--Macy Gray.

Deff in my top 10 favv songs of all time.
Wht happened to this chick anyways??

"I blow bubbles when you are here..." =]

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Melt In Ya Mouf #8

While walking past a mirror,
I saw your sweet reflection.
I ran and hugged you until the glass
s h a t t e r e d
Into my arms.
Your memory bled down to my fingertips.
I tend to kiss the scars when I begin to forget
Your smile.

Love. Tianamonique.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Open Keys--*

I’ve become elastic.
Stretching myself to every possible
Open key, yet my fingers are bruised
From getting caught in between locked doors
I never meant to cause conflict
But I somehow forgot how to numb the pain
So I have returned with open wounds
And expired bandages
Crying out for a cure to heal
These undeserved damages
The ones they left me stranded with
Those cruel open keys that promised
Me eternity
They read books but left the stories untold
Burned amethyst scars onto my palms
They forget to tell me how to read my own soul
Gained control because I was to naïve to believe
They would misguide me; those keys were thieves.
Stealing every pure part of me
I followed their trails with my eyes closed

And since I never really had a destination
A map was never needed; weeded through the roses
Like the thorns ain't left me bleedin.

I pleaded for hours for a key to unleash me.
Release me from the burdens that reflected
Onto my cheekbones every time I passed a mirror.
I never once cried.
But I fell everytime.
I was locked behind bars without commiting a crime.
A prisoner of a love that I could never find.
Believe me; I tried.
Tried to forget the memories that kept my hands tied
In heavy chains
But the truth always remain in clear view; so again
I am here.
Waiting for a cure.
My heart is sore
Im insecure.
And it is your open key that has me locked in so heavily
That if the door was open, I'm not sure
If I have the strength to walk
A W A Y.