Sunday, January 25, 2009

Dear Yesterday,

"breath, write it all down in a noteboke and save it for us for when the storms dies down and the sun comes out and the laughter begins again" Nikkiblanco. She's a lovely soul. Check her out!

I shall return soon loves.


Saturday, January 24, 2009

One More Before I Go.

I've been deleted
Thrown away as a past memory
So when the once familiar steel
Makes love to the skin on my wrists,
My eye's water.
[With excitement.]
and I have returned to a
Mindset that I thought I had left in
My youth.
But this is just pain
And red never looked so beautiful, love.
You did this to me.
And now I'm playing catch up
To the world that you blinded me from.
Torn broken used and hurt.
I loved you full heartedly.
And now we've lost eachother
In the midst of being hurt.
deceit pain ignorance love.
Don't be fooled by the lovely pictures
Or the weightless words.
Everything is gorgeous
When the sun is lit
But when darkness falls and the doors close
Misery leaps into every crease on my skin
And I am left bleeding
Falling short of any of those
Pretty Pretty words you fed
So easily into me.
Im weak now.
The ink of my pen is gone.
I have nothing more to say.

You made me a poet.
You made me an artist.
And without you...
I am nothing.


I will not be writing anything.
sorry to those who actually care.
fuck you to those who should but don't.


Wednesday, January 21, 2009


I'd like an extraordinary thought to go please.
One to make my mind sweat from running around
The limitless possibilities.
The infinite abilities
Of the mind to wonder ;
I want to explore those
Fill me with
Intellectual abilities
Words need a home,
Willing to provide my dome as the vicinity.
Infinitely ; I'd like a thought that defys
The rules of gravity.
One that truly grabs at me.
I'm ready for your philosophies
And all of your sweet tasting
Im really not to hard to please,

Just one extraordinary thought will set my mind at ease.


Saturday, January 17, 2009


What a brilliant song that is right? Mr.Legend kills me everytime I hear it. To me, it never gets old. I mean seriously tho ;;

"I know I've misbehaved/and you've made your mistakes/and we both still got room left to grow/And though love sometimes hurts/I still put you first/and we'll make this thing work/ but I think we should take it slow". *sigh.

ah. makes me wna cry! inspired this piece =]


AS if the timing of your departure could not have been more damaging to
OUR commitment that we inscribed within our skin, we fell for
LOVE in a way that left passion dancing in the past and
ADVANCES fell quietly among your doubtless eyelashes so
WE decided to remain naïve. Forgetting the rule of give and
TAKE. And for the sake of this relationship we tried not to
SECOND guess but my voice turned bitter and together, we ruined all
CHANCES of an everlasting romance and
THOUGH sulking seems like an appropriate way to go about dealing with the heart ache
IT’S too unbearable to think of whose name you claim these days and I am
NOT the one to beg, but for the first time in ages I am believing that
A higher being will send you back to me and this just may be an impossible
FANSTASY but still
I hope you return soon, love, because I can
STILL feel your fingertips on the small of my back and I
WANT to tell you how much I do miss you and wish
YOU could understand how badly I ache and I want you
TO come back home, but I honestly shouldn't have had to ask you to



Thursday, January 15, 2009


On a not so metaphorical note... =]

There are so many things I would love to say and soo many issues I would ABSOLUTELY love to address but unfortunately there are feelings involved and,like most situations,I seem to be the cause of the ones that hurt and I end up getting tagged with the name of " THE BAD GUY". So with that I am attempting to NOT be confrontational even tho it's getting a tad bit out of hand and ridiculous. I will let it slide this time , but I must admit my tounge is getting quite irritated from being bitten daily. eh. && I bet if circumstances were different we could totally be civil but as of now, if I ever saw her... I would most likely catch a case.

Welp; Moving On..

The roomie [CAMY-O] and I are collaborating on a piece and I'm AMPED [been watching waaay to many laguna beach reruns smh] about it because I've never done a "CALLABO" before so it will be interesting and totally awesome. She's lowkey dope as hell so I can't wait for her debut =]

1.TAT #4! [Talk About Stoked!]
2.Learning to skateboard by an oh so clever pro. yes im learning to skateboard people!
3.Getting internet and cable at the new place!
4.MLK day aka Day off from work =]
5.Beating my bro in boxing on the WII!! [Get prepared BRUTHAA]!

I could go on buh whatever.. Im busy =]


BTW! Since we have not had any cable I've had to default to "regualar" tv and as of last night I was unaware of all the doctor shows!! omg why are there so many?!?!?! Geesh =]


But Im Not Laughing.
Im feeling a little under the weather today...
Thanks to a little bit of heart ache and some crazy
He will never understand the infinite love I had/have for him.
It happens between walking to the door and opening it.
The letting in part
The vulnerability that swims within each silent gesture
It falls among the part where we forget our father’s words
Claiming no man will love us more
It kills the most alive part of us
It is the swelling of tears that
Aches while we sleep
The moments of doubt that keeps our hands
In our pockets
It’s the misunderstanding part
The “it’s all my fault” part
The hoping and the praying
It is the staying part
Soaking our cheeks with black trails
Of unforgotten promises
The seconds, minutes, and hours of
Somehow losing a pieces of ourselves along the way
The walking dead, with half a heart to spare
To share with someone who has misplaced
Your name
Feeling un-pretty and washed down by a man,
Who claimed power as love.
It happens at 3 am
When you lose your breath for no reason
Because thinking of a love lost
Is so much easier than dealing with the pain it cost
It’s when you think you forgot
Then realize its 112 degrees outside
And you fall all the way back in
Killing time the way time killed us
We bruise easily
The women deprived of truth
The goddesses whose crowns
Have been shunned
Falling in love backwards
Honesty coming up short
And this is what sadness looks like on paper.
The little girl inside was dying
And I thought that he could save her
The brave her that I used to be
Suddenly to afraid to take chances
It happens when you lose your keys
The beginning of an endless cycle of
Its when our knees turn blue from
Crawling back to be misused
Abusing the idea of being in love so hard
That we don’t recognize when it is
It is then when you realize
Love is so much bigger than us.

--tianamonique. && I won't say it but you know I do.

Sunday, January 11, 2009


I know its over due =[ lo siento! The internet has been limited due to moving out of the parentals casa! =] So bare with me.
Hearts jump off bridges everyday
Yet they never televise these suicides
And why can’t I publicize the
Mass genocide of my insides
I heard love cries in the dark then falls apart.
They never tell us that love murders the heart.

Licking wounds with razor blades
Muted tongues play heartbeats like drums
Souls strung together with cold wire
Words are left unsung and deferring
In the blazing sun
Days fall into the middle of my lap and
Nights are drowned in the sound of tears
Caressing damp pillows
Grey skies kiss happiness goodbye
Lips painting bleak lullabies
Humming into me these sweet siloquies
And he left me without warning.

Salt pouring into fresh cut pores
Wrapping burnt fingertips from touching
Unwelcomed realms
I know; I should have known better
Monday’s moon collapses
And tomorrows come too soon.
This is where sorrow becomes my muse
Falling backwards into green stones
I resort to comfort zones
Loneliness creeps underneath doorways
And snakes up my legs to find a home
In the dimples of my cheeks
She fed him warm words while mine
Sent a painful chill down his back
Which, is why her name echoes
After he says “love”

And I am left, twisting my arm
To make sure I am still human.
Delicate spirits broken with glass
The shattered pieces falling among my eyes lids
I never saw it coming.
Arms wrapping around active thoughts to remain
Balanced and sane
Catching my breath in the heat of the moment
Apple colored kisses keeping me hostage
We lost it.
And im exhausted from dodging bullets
To protect my heart
And following trails only to find
Question marks at the end of the tunnel.

The distance makes the difference
Between me and his mistress
And I guess I didn’t listen when the winds hissed
That his lips kissed a new miss
And honestly I don’t give a fuck about your misery, no diss.
Cuz you took away the only image I had left of bliss.
So with this, I claim victim.
Pretending to not feel how bad
The realization of it burns.
I guess this is how karma works.

He always did love a woman with words.


*btw: sorry it is so long. i've had alot on my midnd. eek.