I don't blame you, you know.
If I were you, I wouldn't love me too.
I'm complex and melancholy
And sometimes my heart travels
Faster than my mind
So i'm usually out of breath
For trying to catch up with lost time
Always blind,
Bumping into memories
I tried to leave behind
But you always remind me
Why I can't forget.
I always let you and your sweet smile
Invade the secrets
I was trying to keep to myself
You always did have a way
Of making transparency seem effortless.
And I don't blame you for not
Liking what you see.
My insides are probably
Ugly and scream with twisted
Theories and dark dreams
Sun beams are buried in yesterday's
Summer breeze.
Now everything is frozen over.
But it still feels familiar
The walls collapsing.
The tornadoes swirling.
The heart race climbing.
Yeah, I've been here before.
It's like a dream revisited
Except this time,
There are no good mornings
And no laughter.
I though that in coming back,
I'd find you.
With your crooked smile
And your pretty hands
Ready to dance in our memories
Ready to tell me the secrets
You've kept since you've been away,
But instead
I was greeted by misery's silent smirk
Dodging the harsh blows of fists,
There was noise,
But there was no music.
Did we lose it?
Our summer's always need too soon,
Those pretty June's and mindless July's
Memorized your smile and played it as
The soundtrack of our memories.
This may be the death of me,
Swimming to the deep end of thee
Unable to breathe, suffocating on tears
That your wrapped around my neck
But still I do no blame you, love.
And sometimes I even forgive you for
Stealing everything that was mine
All that time wasted pretending it wasn't you
When it always was
You stole my sun.
Every cursed name you called me,
and infectious touch you handed me,
And every lie you stranded me with.
You used words to hurt me,
And actions to give me validation.
The humiliation follows me in shadows.
Drowning in our story
We could've had happily ever after
If you would have just let me finish
Writing it.
Love, Tianamonique.
