A Bad Habit--*

Im always that tough one.

The petite chick with advice like

"Fuck niggas ; you don't need him anyways."

Yes, small frame but my talk is mean.

And I got a stuborn streak inherited

From a generation of women

Who honestly didn't give a shit.

So

I

Lose.

The battle with myself when I say its ok to cry

Cuz I've strategically trained my eyes

To lock tears behind steel bars.

And

I

Chose.

To be a hard rock, ms. hill told me I was a gem,

I shoulda listened then.

Cuz now my heart stays iced over

Cold, Bitter, AND unapologetic.

When disrespect presents itself, 

Emotions ; disabled.

Then

I

Fuse

Together the pieces broken with pride and glue.

I'm that chick.

The one with clenched fists

And tight grips,

The loud voice and quiet atmosphere.

My heart lives in solitude 

And

I

Refuse

To be unhappy.

But sometimes I just wanna be

Vulnerable.

--tianamonique.

quickthought*

He creates empires inbetween
Hello's and Goodbyes.
His name rests easy on the tip of my tounge,
Knowing that god's eye's rest in the flash of his smile.
I could live in his arms forever.
I think I might.

I dare you to try
To break this.

-tictac.

FOR THEE RECORD*

I would like to say that I am naïve.
I'd love to pretend that I don’t see
Your secret codes.
I know your methods.
And I know when I leave
My names is found
In a pile of dirt in the corner
And my existence
Doesn’t matter.
Or maybe it does when
Convient for you.
I would love to say I didn’t see
Her name pop up.
I would love to say
This was all just a misunderstanding
Maybe even coincidence.
But I don't think it is accurate to call it coincidence
If it happens all the time..
I digress.
I bite my tounge till it
Stings and the blood tastes
Salty.
I clench my teeth,
Roll over and pretend like im sleep.
I don't want to know or see.
But I do.
I really really do.

&& I hope when you wake up, you get caught in your tears and reality smacks you till you fall back asleep.

--tianamonique.

AH CHRISTMAS =]

Must say was quite successful! =]
Actually ; it was absolutely perfect.
Familia was wonderful!
BOY was wonderful. [AS ALWAAYS]
BOYS FAMILIA was wonderful!!

all around wonderful day! =]

--ima happy camper && one luckyy chick.

Hope yours was wonderful as well*

tianamonique.

btw: ihavethebestboyever*
mmhmmm.

I DNT SMOKE BUT UUUUH---*

Spark up pens and smoke
Poetic verses
Keep the mood alive with
Outa mind curses
[Its too worth it.]
Scribes of lives
Written in
Melodic minds
We get high off of words
And vibe.
Shots of metaphors by the dozen
We get drunk off of
Natural lovin
Keep the blood runnin thru blue veins
We write till our fingers bleed
And the little bump on our middle fingers
Swells from writing to forcefully.

This is why we write.

To turn rocks into flowers.
Pass the pen around ; we can pen/etrate for hours.
Carefully construsting our craft
Using our past as motivation.
We spark L’s.
Letters for stimulation.

Write!
Write!
Write!

Pages blend
The blue lined paper
With smoke vapor.
And what do we do when
The blunts cease?

Spark up yet another and
Write a masterpiece.

--tianamonique. beeeeeeeeeeitch. =]

IMISSHIM--*

ALREADY! =[

hatecali.lovehim.

grr.

"COMEBACK!!"

love--*tictac

UNO MAS--*

Artist Lisa Reinermann used building sillouttes to create the alphabet!!

I mean who thinks of that?!? Mad Talent!

=]

REFLECT--*

PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS--*

"Do you ever want to walk up to somebody and ask them about their life?"
-- Meeze. I swear he's the dopest man alive. Inspires me without even knowing. LUH YU.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Memories fade
Like dry rain
On sidewalks.
Pasts find themselves in
Your hands
Like sand on beaches.
The metaphors
Keep the memories alive
In a mind filled with
Secrets
and
Promises.
You can't trace back
The thousands of steps
Taken.
Know you are here now.
You can't place a name on every wound
But the scar reminds you
That at one point,
You bled.
Words are said ; meaning less and transparent,
But the past still lingers
Faintly.
Accquaintences show their faces
In the oddest of places
Leaving small traces
Back to that memory.
Back to that moment.
When you were and wanted to be.
Wanting only to erase
the names
the events
the history
Only to find the past blistering
Swelling inside, ready to burst
Ready to be remembered
And taken back.
Believing they've been molded to stone,
The memories crack down the middle
Giving them a new life.
Your past will rise and forever stay.
Reminding your present how present
It will remain.
The loves, the deaths, the departures,
The regrets, the mistakes, the misunderstandings,
The words said [ and unsaid ],
The people you meet
The experiences you face.
It all remains.
And when one fragment of a memory surfaces,
You remember why its called
The Past.


--tianamonique.

EH--*

"...And through timeless words and priceless pictures, we'll fly like birds right of this earth. And tidess they turn and hearts disfigure, but thats no concern when we're wounded together.."--Jason Mraz [A Beautiful Mess].

My favorite song as of late. =]*

------------------------------------------------------------

You create worlds in my small and complex life
Creating realms in foreign places.
Speaking of new faces, new names
To recollect.
The intelect that your mind sets
Is brilliant.
Causing me to step back and reflect.
This will hurt
But only so that I can heal you
Broke a few hearts just to feel you.
This guilt trip wasn't worth the mileage
I just wanna see you smiling,
But all I hear are sirens.
We avoid the warnings,
Steering past the dotted lines.
The signs are clear,
But our vision is blurred.
.....

**uhm so i dnt know where i was going with this one.. may possibly show up in a later post finished.

--tianam0nique.

PARALLEL LINES.

PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS--*
"I feel as though i've emerged from a black tunnel and found myself in the middle of a carnival. I don't particularly like carnivals, but after the tunnel, its delicious"-- Julia [character from a book].
---------------------------------------------------
We were parallel lines
Never meant to intersect
I cried blue tears
At a nearby stop sign
Alone on a damp road
Your voice echoed
In the breezes
On the radio
In my brakes.
You saw green
When I saw red.
So you went.
And I stayed
Frozen
I saw your smile
On a stranger
Which caused me to think twice
About breathing,
For the air got caught in the middle of
My throat.
Your scent lingered in the autumn air,
I caught small pieces of you
On the tips of my fingers.
And I am so proud
To have held you.
No distance can
Break this love.
For parallel lines do meet in infinity.

-TL.

MY FIRST TIME--*

PLAYING THE WIIIIII!!!

totally sucked at tennis.

boo-effin-hoo.


got knocked out in boxing. [touche brittany]. couldnt even be gentle knowing it was my first time n whatnot. anthony caught it on tape and it was quite an amazing sight. my arms are deff gna be sore in the morning.



after recovering from a mass beat down by the beast herself, we settled down and played some bowling IN WHICH i totally MURKED. yes murked. =]

leaving brittany in awe of my amazing bowling skills. dnt sleep on me bro. [even had a strike and spare dance oh yes]

anywho im not gna brag toooooooo much juss cuz she beat mah ass in boxing lol PROPS HOMES.



BUT I MEAN REALLY....

lmao. yes i was the high yella chick over there in the red. numero uno. MURKED. lmao



BTW: BRITTANY I LOVE YU DAWG. UR LIKE THE COOLEST CUZ EVER. yeahisaidit. even tho ur stockings suck. =] luhyu!!

P.S. GOT A NEW NOTEBOOK!! && ITS ORANGE!! sooo new pieces will be up sooooooon! =]

MMM YAH MMM--*

"TH" = MY INITIALS.
SOO NOT "THE HUNDREDS" LMAO.

he got some shnaazyy ish i must admit.
&& i like to steal it from time to time.

SRBA.

NO BIG DEAL!!

--tictac.

P.S. EFF SANFRAN.

NO BIG DEAL--*

MY NEW SAYING =]
THXX TO LAUREN FROM THE HILLS.
"RING RING..No big deal.. JUST MY FIRST CELL PHONE"!

hahaha.

whatever dont judge me.

It's Old--*

But still one of my fav pieces.
One of mah fav subjects. =]
Enjoy.
--------------------------------------------
He said he liked to write
I told him to write me something divine.
He said it would be lightweight.
I think he's tryna meet my mind.
He's got mad lyrics in his notebook;
They make me sing like birds do.
Who knew?
I think he's dope cuz he listens to
Erykah Badu,
And he thinks Jill Scott,
Is the truth.
I see him with my eyes closed and feel him with my ears open.
I think this might be infatuation cuz
His lyrics go in deep as they slide up inside my kingdom
With no protection.
I don't mind though, I'd rather be giving birth to his words.
See, every night he makes love to my thoughts so erotically that
It makes my eyes water.
No need to get caught up with sexual pleasures in the physical act,
He pleases me mentally cuz he knows where my thoughts are at.
This is not your ordinary love like Sade said.
He brings tears to my eyes like
Lauryn Hill did when she f l e d.
But these tears are good tears.
Replaces all my fears, with his cheers,
And my dear, he speaks like heavens right here.
Like he is not afraid to fight here.
And when he switches gear; my heart beats faster,
And I grasp for some air, till my lungs can extend no further.
I think I wanna keep him around; if not for love,
For the intellect.
Cuz he can sex my mind better than anyone else can ;
Bet.
I wanna give it to him in all angles; I want him to call me his angel.
I wanna make him sweat in the essence of my
Natural and genius mind set.
Make my ordinary words scream his name;
I want him to invade my brain
And see what he can make with it.
He's a freak when it comes to conversation.
Embraces every unfamiliar part of me.
And for that I love him.
Don't really know how I want this to end.
Maybe with a kiss or a simple goodbye.
Maybe not all.
I do know that this is becoming more than a poetic love spell.
I probably loved him in a past life.
He knows me too well...

--tianamonique.

SRBA--*

You are my sunshine.
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know dear,
How much I love you.

Please don't take my sunshine away.

--I wna be the dining dead with you.

Eight Minutes--*

I spent eight minutes writing
Your name
In cursive
Till my pen bled
And the page began to
Dampen with tears
The edges turned black and curled over
With the burn of
Each memory
Lost
I spent eight minutes writing
Your name
In cursive
Cramping my wrists
With each stroke
Your name is beautiful
In cursive
In print
In general.
Signing each line with
A poetic
Flame
Your name was carried
With a scent of summer
And the page blossomed
With
Daisies and roses
I spent eight minutes writing
Your name
In cursive
Before I realized
I had begun writing mine.

damn.

--tianam0nique.

The Rain Got Me Thinkin--*

Penny For Your Thoughts--*

"I love words. Words are the whores of everything beautiful"-- Dustin Stonecipher.

man he's so dope. and his name is sooo cool!! =]

--Rainy day today... and I got mad inspiration from it and other sources as well.

Enjoy.

----------------------------------------

These dark clouds hang low on damp streets,
Reminding me of how insignificant my existence really is

And I begin to miss

Everything

The breeze feels “beautiful” and I feel as though I am not worthy

To be standing in the essence of its grace,

Blocking a space that it could effortlessly fill,

Interrupting a symphony sung my nature’s choir.

I can’t tell the difference between the rain and tears anymore.

The salt burns as it hits my moist skin silently,

Giving me an electric shock of reality

I miss my youth.

Standing in the middle of the street,

My arms held down on both my sides,

Hands clenched in fists,

Eye’s closed tight and,

My tongue outstretched,

Begging for a taste of inspiration

Somehow the rain misses my tongue,

Catching onto my cheeks,

Creating pathways down my neck

-Eyes kept closed

My mind wonders back to

Six years old.

When the rain was just an excuse to run around

In soaked clothes, waiting for rainbows and

Expecting pots of gold to be hidden behind,

Willow trees

Laughter falling among sidewalks, where our brilliant

Chalk artworks are washed away,

Painting new masterpieces

The simplicity of being six years old felt so good.

-Eyes open.

I am caught in a web of r e a l i t y, forced down

By the heavy weight of raindrops caressing my shoulders

I cannot tell the difference anymore and when I look down,

I don’t know if I am standing in a puddle of rain,

Or a puddle of tears,

And in the distance I hear your name echo

In a faint thunder.

--tianamonique*

ONE ART--*

I swear.. this poem cures every bad emotion.
Guilt.
Sadness.
Anger.
Despise.
Jealousy.
Disappointment.
Fear.

Read this.. and I promise.. it will raise your spirts. Its my 2nd fav poem. I shall post my fav one someday, when it applies. But I went to read this one today, and it made me smile.

enjoy.
-----------------------------------------------------
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
----------------------------------------------

*sigh*
life is beautiful.
enjoy it. love it. live it.

WHY DO WE LOVE LOVE?--*

-Our relations
Revolved
Around temptations
So when there was no patience
Involved
The equation was left
Unsolved.-


*tianamonique.

SUNDAY NIGHT WITH CAMY-O--*

MOOLAH B WAS UNAWARE THAT CAMY-O WAS RECORDING =D SHES AWESOME. ROOMIE!!

I'll Admit Im Jealous--*

UGH!

I WANT matching tattoo with somebody!! =[

As much as I wna hate em... they are kinda cute! LOL.

Welp ; Hip-Hip Hooray for Rihanna and Chris Brown.

Just In Case--*

" 'U' and 'I' are not together, for like the Montegues and the Capulets, we each have our own side of the alphabet"
=]
quickie.
--------------------------
Just in case the last words I say to you are bitter,
Or if our last encounter with eachother ends in
Distant stares.
In case we exchange words without thinking before speaking them.
In case your heart drops after you see me,
Just in case your eyes swell when you hear my name,
Remembering the hurt that I might place on your frame.
If I end up gone and the last thing I said to you
Fall benieth your breath, leaving you speechless..
In case you walk away believing you're alone,
Please know you brought a light to my life
That will never cease to burn bright.
Know your name is embedded in my skin.
Know I love you beyond measure.
So in case we never speak again,
Please know you were the muse
That kept my ordinary words singing.
-------------------------------------------------------------
--PLS DONT TRY TO OVERANALYZE ANYTHING I HAVE TO SAY.

.tianamonique.

SIMPLICITY.--*

Align your lines with my rhymes
And maybe in time
We can build the spine
That binds your work
With mine.

I Dare You To Let Me Write You.

--tianamonique.

SAUL WILLIAMS--*

IS MY IDOL =D

He speaks the truth. Yall need to listen. For all yu wannbe rappers that claim ur hip-hop..psh...HERE YU GO =D.

Enjoy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We are growing tired of you. We love women for more than you have ever seen in them. We love hi-hop for more than you have ever used it for. We love ourselves, not for our possesions, but for the spirt that possesses us. We honor your existence. We honor your freedom. But a freedom that costs, obviously, is not free. Watch what you say. Watch what you value. Planes crash. Bank vaults are airtight, you will suffocate in them. Cars crash. Word life. Word death. Your hit songs hit and run. We are wounded but not dead. And we are coming to reclaim what is ours. The main stream: the ocean. The current. Our time is now. Word is bond.

---------------------------------------------------------------

SNAPS FOR THE HIP-HOP HEADS.

WORDISBOND.

--TIANAMONIQUE.

I KNOW--*

I havn't posted anything lately.. but my words are running short..
Call it writers block.. but I can't seem to put to paper how i'm feeling these days.

Hm.

Something needs to change.. and best believe that change is coming.

-tianamonique.

THIS AINT A LOVE SONG...--*

Penny For Your Thoughts--*
"Fuck You. This Is My Room."--DJ.

Very well stated. =]
-------------------------------------------

AIGHT.. so friday night with Camy-O and Moolah B.. Chillin.
Decided to pay tribute to SDP n shit. Let Us Get In "Da Boof".

We Worthy Ngha.

TAKE ONE



TAKE TWO.

TAKE THREE

Ode To America--*

Penny For Your Thoughts--*
"Light only penetrates the darkness that's already there"-SAUL WILLIAMS.

Mr. Williams is a genius. Seriously.
-----------------------------------------------
He came inside her.
Right after she pleaded "not guilty",
Calling her distant father's name in vain
With the weight of his absence so present.
The rape of polictical scandals falling across her surface.
Her face has fallen.
Calling for a revolution, her skin is dry waiting for her pores
To be awakened with resolution.
The pollution rises through the cracks of her nose.
He told he loved her before kissing her quietly.
Pulling her closer with each faint lie,
She WAS the promise land,
He IS the promise man, promising dreams
And change,
And love.
But she was not loved, and she felt it and
The welts from her lover's hand melted
In her palms.
Never saw it coming.
Weeping silently and alone,
Watching her children suffer the mass beatings
She recieved for being too strong.
The ring was forced onto her wilted finger,
Holding dreams she knew no longer existed.
Married to a love that was insisted,
She tried to resist it cuz his love was not consistent
Persitant on power a trip, her lover didn't give a shit,
Twisted around his finger, she choked on his every word,
Pretending not to hear, knowing her voice would not be heard.
She wanted to love him, but his morals were too complex
To understand.
In attempt to make him happy,
She began birthing new orders, and new laws,
But all he did was fuck her raw.
Hardcore, leaving scars among her broken branches hanging by little faith.
Her breathe whispers hope into the autumn breeze,
Hoping a man whispers back with the same needs as she.
With the same morals, and wants, and desires,
Hoping a man can extinguish the fires when her lover retires.
She's calling for a revolution.

A Revolution.
-----------------------------------------------------------

OMG TOMORROW IS ELECTION DAY =]
Make sure you people go out and vote.. Even if yu think it won't matter.
It 100% DOES!! Got my vote in early =]


OBAMA/BIDEN 08! YEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Lord Of The Flies!--*

Before heading out to our halloween festivities... BARBIE & THE AWESOMEST Baseball player ever had to handle some business... Great Bambino Got Hit In The [EFFIN] Face while lil Miss Barbie went all psycho for a fly. LMAO!! Classic Ish..

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!--*

GO DRESS LIKE WHORES =]



yeeeeeeeeeeee...

Define She--*

Penny For Your Thoughts--*
"...Then I awoke and dug
That I dreamed natural dreams,
Of being a natural woman,
Doing what a woman does when she's natural
I would have a revolution" Nikki Giovani
---------------------------------------------------

Define she.
She meaning me?
Cuz I was she, now she means her.
You prefer her over me,
So maybe she is the she of whom you speak.
I long to be she, but she was who I was
When you was him.
The lights are dim.
Fading the old her into darkness
As your new she becomes vibrant.
I am dead, and she is lively.
But she treats the he that you've become
Like you aint new.
But you are the sun, love.
I know this.
And if her deferred,
We could have
The he and she
That we used be.
So define she for me, please.
She meaning past or present?
Am I the she you wished never happened?
I see you settleing for a lesser she, and as sad as it is,
It eases my mind knowing she will never compare to me.
Knowing the place of she can't be replaced by she.
PAHLEASE.
Define SHE.
When you hear she, who's name comes to the core?
Does she make your skin crawl like I did before she was washed upshore?
When your head craddles the thought of she, who's face do you see?
I used to be so confident in holding my title of she,
Now doubts shape around your mouth when you say
The word, and I heard she call's you her's,
Which makes her your she.
But depending on the context in which you use it, I could be she.
"She's still here" -- Me.
"She still cares"--Me.
"She a rider yo"--Me.
"She's choosing and proving, but im abusing and using SHE.. Man im gna lose her because of SHE"--ME.

So think long and hard,
Bout which she holds your heart.
I was there from the start, love.
We had to part, love.
But I know if we could chose to paint our love in the sky
We could be the truest art, love.

So define she.
Honestly.
Understand the she that your willing to lose and the she you're fighting for.
Cuz this she is tired of coming second to your "other" she.
This she almost ready give up and leave.



--SHE.

Taste Of Your Name [Short & Sweet]--*

GET READY. SET. GO. =]
----------------------------------
So bittersweet as I slur out each letter letting it drip out of the sides of my mouth.
Gliding it along my lips, your name comes in liquid form and quenches my thiRst.
First welcoming a freshness that I have been longing for
Splashing each letter between my teeth,
Hitting the insides of my cheeks.
I have been craving your name
Long before I could speak.
Waiting for the taste I have been so curious about,
You go well with mY mouth.

Your carAmel falls beneath my waist allowing me to embrace each taste.
Your name filling the up and down of me, taking deep breaths to keep my saNity,
Your name devours me.
Kissing each letter, stroking eAch curve of your word,
You give my taste buds a sensation of passion and i'm only half done.
YouR name is hung on the roof of my mouth ready to be sung, and when your naMe meets my tounge... uh huh.

Its almost like I was born to say it,
Born to clAim it, and you my love, fit perfectly.
Your nAme easily swims in the deep end of me.

Your name.
Your name.

Your name is the reason I close my eyes at night,
The reasoN I can't sit still in class,
The reason my mind wanders to places unknown,
The reason why I can't love another,
The reason why my sweetest muscle aches when your not around.

Attempting to grip onto somethIng, your name comes through me
Moaning at the exhilarating feeling your name gives me.
Eye's closed and head back, I am taking all of you in, letting every piece of you fall into me.

The taste of your name soothes me, from the bottom of my feet, to
My last strand of hair.
I drank your name dry and when I finished I sighed,
Whispering your sweet name to myself,
Praying that I never forget how it felt.
Watching your name melt all the way down my stomache,
Your aftertaste leaves me
SPEECHLESS.

So pleasured and weak, my jaw's lock at the mere thought of your name once again returning to my deserving mouth,
Waiting to be seduced my the contents of your name.
--------------------------------------------

boom.

A change in pace from my previous pieces. And it feels good. Almost as good as his name.

=]

I Know You--*

Penny For Your Thoughts--*

"There's a force in you, my loose emotions flock toward yearning to cling because my hearts unstable and you appear rock solid" Kweenofsanity. =]
-----------------------------------------
I know you.
At least I knew you.
Your memory lies so fragrant on my wrists.
I can remember the scent of your smile and the
Taste of your walk has been locked inside of me and
I can no longer find the key.

I know you.
Your dark eyes are so familiar
Yet you are so distant and the space between
Remembering you and knowing you is filling with
The regrets I wish to confess.
I am a mess ; life and love colided.
Im feeling absentminded.
I despise the emtiness you left in the back of my eyes.

I know you.
At least I thought I did.
And as you walk by I can feel your hands shake as they did the first time you held me.
Remember?
Maybe?
Vaguely your laughter echoes through me as you try to prove to me
How deep you really are.
How far your thoughts can go, but
I KNOW YOU.

Maybe not the whole you, but the most of you and
When i'm close to you I can feel the heaviness of the sweet air that you take in
Sliding down the bottom of my chin
Your soul swims from within and our sin lay so alert and known.
I would be a shame to claim ignorance in this.

I know you.
Well, I knew you.
I had your song memorized cuz you lyrics left me mesmorized and I could hardly survive the first verse.
So I rehearsed in solitude and then presented the song in front of you as an ode to you.
Trying to un-code the lyrics of you, I sang till my throat bled, blood shot red came through my eyes as the tears fled from behind.

You were my song, and I sang you in perfect tune.

I KNEW YOU.
And your memory haunts the in of me as I dream.
The memory has fallen under the stars that we would sit and count aimlessly.
I can no longer hold you for your ashes slip through my weakened fingers when
I attempt to grasp a piece of you.

I know you.
Maybe not the you that you've become,
But I know the you that you were once.
Down to every scar, I can picture the whole of you that I once knew so well.
Now, I claim you in past tense.
Fenced inside the picture I want to keep of you.
The image I have seeked of you.

I will always know you.
But the man I see, is a somehow a stranger to me.

MUTE--*

PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS-**

"Don't you hate when someone puts you into a box of bad perception and you have to define your way out?" Opera Kitty.

--------------------------------

Somehow the words are getting caught in the middle of my thoat,
Unable to speak on whats real, how my lungs feel so fractured and
A bruised heart beats away the purple and blue veins, hit with his backhand.


Somehow the words are forming but they cannot complete themselves
And refuse to spell themselves out when the tears fall and my mouth opens
So ready to speak, so eager to meet the ears of true listeners, but my words have
Become shy.

Sudden stage fright, to afraid of not being accepted.
Afraid of nothing being heard. They believe they don't matter.

So colorless and lifeless are the words that used to rest easy on the tip of my tounge.
They are hiding being my molars, to find them you'll have to dig deeper.

There will be no more sunshine. no more highlighted words. no more colors to bring out the meanings. black and white.

I can feel them building up inside me ready to explode,
But the baggage is to heavy of a load.
They forgot what they had to say, so they creep back into their comfort zones.
Tucked away where nobody can hear as they whisper how they are bleeding.
Cut to the very core, you ignored them.
You tore them. You could not implore them.


Explore them.


Lips pursed so sight, they couldn't get out if they wanted.
But they are not knocking for an answer.
Door bell remains silent ; they are not looking for a way out.
But inside im shouting, each word in caps and bolded ; played it straight, now they're folded over one another claiming to be unable to breathe, but they're are the ones who chose to live inside me.


Now they refuse to speak.

Spirits broken from a heartache to ill to be spoken.

My words are going on strike. They do not ask. They do not plea. They flee.
Unappreciated is their extenuation for leaving me even though they know they are all I have left.

I hope they return soon. Till then.. Im M U T E.

ALL MAH SINGLE LADIES--*

[Why does Beyonce make it sound so easy? Gosh.]


Somebody please tell me how to do this whole "single" thing cuz so far I suck at it...
"/



HELP?!

The Art Of Healing, Bumble Bees, And The Magnitude Of Life.--*

SERIOUS TITLE. =]

Penny For Your Thoughts--*

"Elegant and strong, her body blooms each day, like roses, ever blooming, with thorns to protect her from the bees only wanting her for her nectar" chilled2dmax.

ah he's a beautiful soul.
enjoy loves.

-------------------- -------------
My smile flashes with a new passion for the life I have regained.
My once strained strides have become longer and
My heart has become stronger.
My head feels heavier has it lays upon
My proud and outstreched neck.

I AM BEAUTIFUL.

Prided by the knowledge that I am priceless.
My brown eyes shine deeper with the understanding that
I am invicible.
My brightened cheeks have been refreshed by the sunken waters of
My past.
And the salty tears that lay upon frozen rocks are being washed away by
My ocean.
Healing the wounds with my own hands.

ME MYSELF AND I
Did this.

We created this immense and powerful woman.
This outspoken flower.
This ever humming bumble bee.
The queen of the hive, I strive for perfection
Attempt to provide protective for the ones I love most and I keep the rest
CLOSE.

My laughter is bursting through the chains of past burdens.
The rise of my high cheek bones when I smile are of my mothers doing,
And I am so proud to carry her glow.

For once I am realizing I don't need another to complete me.
I've been complete this entire time.
The invisibility of a man defining my better half is
Humbling.

The pace I walk in now is called "light".
The spirit I possess is called "free".
My eyelashes sweep the doubt from the the top of my eyelids as I realize it will be
ok!
I am willing to take risks, and the memory of slit wrists are vague and irrelevant now.
OK.
I am a woman.
And to be called anything otherwise is bad fiction yo.
Simplicity is where my heart is telling me go.
I did not know the snow of this expierence would chill a nerve deeper
Than I could fathom.
Imagine... love in its prime.

and to think... it took finding my lost gucci glasses shining on the top a bucket of dark sunglasses in a forever 21 store to realize the magintude and the amazement of life.

=]

All Mah Love.

Oldie But Goodie.--*

Penny For Your Thoughts--*
"Hope Is Revolutionary Patience" Brittany Barfield.

YES.
----------------------------------------


He and Me.
We bee constantly and consistenly
Lovingg.
He Bee keeping
Me happy like the day
We fell in love.
He bee
Teaching Me New Things,
And Sayiing Them Sweet Things,
To make Me Think Things
Like..
Maybe this is an epiphany.
He leaves me,
Gasping for air to breathe in he
Cuz everyday he shows me how to love thee.
I need thee more than greatly
And Lately
His kisses end less faintly and
Quite frankly I'd rather bee
Fainting so he could wake me with his presense
Cuz his scent is heaven sent and I've
Been blessed by his sense
And My life would be dense with
Less of HIM in it.
He is INFINITE, DEFINITE, and
Mos DEFF
My minutes Hours and days,
He's my enough, my more than, my sweet ways, my sun's rays
My truth stays
Embedded in his benediction, call me heathen
Cuz he's my jesus cuz he give me this spirtual solace.
He is flawless and unscathed as if he was made from trained skies
Cuz he fly's past my expections and
"Im Juss Lucky",
is his extenuation for this incomprehensible view of perfection.
Im in a vortex of complex words and text yet im content with
Love.
Really what I meant was,
Im so content with idea of being idyll that
I'd file away my past mistakes to make room for
My man, my enough,my more than, my has been, my will be,
To have thee wrapped in me like lace,
Trace your hand onto to mine and never erase it,
Never replace it cuz I could never make this
With another lover.
Yooh have a certain power over me
That I have no control over.
Im a less than senseless with you but its ok
Cuz you have a certain way with me that changes me
everday and in everyway I love you for it.

I love you for being true.

I love you for being you.

I juss love you.

--snook.

MARCO ; POLO! [GOOD LIFE]--*

Oh the [mains.]

How they complete me so.
bahahhahaha.

=]

No Mistress--*

*Penny For Your Thoughts--
"The Minute You Settle For Less Is When Yu Get Less Of What You Settled For"

amen.amen.
---------------------------------------------
Like the old days.
Sneaking into motels at dawn.
Keep secrets hidden underneath
Stale sheets.
Wearing black shades to cover our sinning eyes, disguise these lies.

We stay quiet.

Dont get it twisted ; no mistress.
Juss a woman to afraid of distance.

So I give in every time your hand
Slides down the middle of my back,
Casting the spell you've used over and over.
Immune to the venemous kiss you place on the small of my neck.
You know exactly what you are doing
Trying to love her but
you love me.

bottomline. period.point blank.

But we can do this, love.
This run around
Cat -- mouse
Chasing down the memories we've tried to forget.

But don't miss me too much when im long gone.

The Reality [QUICK THOUGHT]--*

I saw you standing in a pool of blue diamonds.
You looked so blissful & complete.
You were hanging on the side of my smile when I felt you
Creep inside me and quietly and slowly,
Burst through my soul.
Hugging me inside out.
I could hear you, the quivering voice that haunts me, whispering
You adore me as much as you did when we first met.
And you were "sorry".
I tasted you.
Salt pouring out of the sides of your mouth,
You calmed my deepest oceans.
You LOVED me.
I was so warm in your embrace and your face was so familiar.
And when I woke up tears were streaming down my pale cheeks,
My body shivered,
And at that very moment

I MISSED YOU MORE THAN I EVER DID.
& when I see you again... I will love you better than I ever have.

The Secret Life Of Bees [BOOK]--*

PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS*
"IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YU SHOULDA PUT A RING ON IT." BEYONCE. [Touché]
----------------------------------------

Complicated.

Such a simple word.

Yet as complex as the text is,

We say it so easily.

"THIS IS COMPLICATED".

Our excuse when it we can't find a simple way out.

Complicated.

It's not supposed to make sense.
This constant pain, this frequent loss of breath.
I am running out of things to be sad about.



Now what will be complicated?

Since nothing in life is simple, I need some complexity to make myself feel

Whole

To Feel H U M A N.

To.Be.Real.

Creating dramatic scenes, making up sarcastic themes, wishing I could have more

SIMPLISTIC DREAMS.

..but no ; its complicated.

everything down to my relationships, to my nail color, to my jeans size, to my life lies, to my up and down moods, my cell phone, to my wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely, my voice, my wieght, to my love, to my fate.

complicated.

I think i'll keep it this way until I can find a better excuse and I can very simply say,



"IM HAPPY".

--------------------------





Ok so today I began reading The Secret Life of Bees... 5 STARS! Oh so beautifully written. Its a must read. Hopefully the movie doesnt disappoint cuz this is probably one of the best books i've read in a long time! Anywho.. Pls read before seeing the movie. I promise it wont let you down. =]